No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize