watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize