Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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