That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
