no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
