Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
