spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
if only i could text you this smell
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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