This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
