It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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