Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
