i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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