I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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