It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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