Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
