I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
