I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you win again, gameday.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
