Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize