if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Barsexuality is the new black.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
