your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
