He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You made out with two different species that night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
