I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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