my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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