I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
