Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I never want to see another naked old woman again.

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(440): View more from Ohio

My astrological sign? Vagitarius.

Fav 20 3888 1044
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(850): View more from Florida

It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.

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(806): View more from Texas

Two words Indian burn...

(1-806): View more from Texas

What did she think it was, a shake weight?

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(315): View more from New York

He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender

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(314): View more from Missouri

I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.

(336): View more from North Carolina

Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.

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