I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
