So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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