i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
When are your genitals available?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
