That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
