its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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