How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
