I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My pussy is not your playground.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
