He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
