What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
false alarm. still invincible.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
