have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
