South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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