Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
