Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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