you guys were way drunker than both of me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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