My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
