her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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