he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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