This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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