Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
