bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
