o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
