we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I party with great urgency now.
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