Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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