how hairy? two words: wookie tits
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
