I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
