it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
