sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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