Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
