***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I want to fling myself into the sun
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
