It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
