But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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