He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
