well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
