I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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