Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
