So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
