well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
