My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
