Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
