genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
