My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize